The other day I was taking a bit of “me” time and spending a few hours doing one of the things I love best: sifting through old junk. As I was meandering through the store, I began to notice that the things that drew my attention went above and beyond what has typically attracted me. It’s not that my taste has changed so much, although maybe it has, but more so that it was expanded. I found myself googling things and mentally trying to style these unique items in my home – pieces that even a year ago I wouldn’t have noticed.

When I met up with one of my friends later, who I consider to be my “antique mentor” I jokingly told her that her sense of style was heavily influencing what I was now noticing. We both chuckled, and I never really gave it another thought. For years my husband has always told me I was a marketer’s “wet dream” because with just one commercial I could easily be convinced that I HAD to have whatever item was being thrown in my face at the time. With social media, people have made careers earning six-figure incomes just “influencing” people on what they need on any given day to, of course, drastically change their lives for the better. But my friend is no influencer. She’s not trying to sell me anything or push me to like what she likes. Yet somehow, just by being around her, listening to her and learning from her, I’ve opened my mind to new and different things. To me, that’s not being influenced but more so just evolving and growing as a person.

I am almost 46 (gasp, please don’t tell anyone) and while I can definitely still be influenced or persuaded a bit to like certain things, I’m well past the age of conforming to the latest trends and doing whatever it takes to fit in with the cool crowd. But on the flip side of that, I’m also of the age where I’m fairly set in my ways, in my beliefs and just generally how I live. But to me, being able to “expand one’s horizon” is never a bad thing. Especially because I feel the older we get, the more exponentially ingrained we become in our routines and daily life.

I feel like as kids and even as adults we’re taught to “find like minded people.” Befriend them. Marry them.And while I don’t disagree with that sentiment, what if we should be stressing the opposite? Take for example my Dad and my best friend. My father, the 74-year-old white privileged, fairly conservative old man was a product of the ’50’s (no need to say more). In comparison my bestie is a very liberal female. Politically, they are often on opposite sides of the fence. But both have savagely fought for everything they have, albeit each experiencing a different kind of personal rat race. My father once told me that while most likely he will never agree with some of the beliefs my friend has, he always looks forward to discussing, even arguing, important topics with her because if for nothing else, she almost always brings to light new and/or different ideas based upon her own personal perspective. It’s their differences that bring them together (well and me, of course), not what drives them apart.

Differences – to me, that is what makes the world go round. Being able to look past your own likes, your own beliefs, your own habits. And not just seeing those other ways or different ideas, but embracing them. Realizing that your way is not the only way. Your belief may not be the right belief for everyone, but it doesn’t make either side right or wrong – just different. What kind of world would this be if everyone liked the same thing and had the same ideas? Who wants to be a part of something that never changes. Never grows. Never evolves.

As we groom our growing children into hopefully becoming kind, compassionate and empathetic humans, don’t forget to encourage them to seek out others who might be different than them. Because only in surrounding oneself with a variety of likes, dislikes, opinions and cultures, can we then truly develop our own unique sense of self. And if that self doesn’t ever change, it can’t ever grow. Ask the questions. Explore all sides. And embrace the differences, because that is how we become better.